Midlife Crisis or Midlife Awakening? A Reframing
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This month we are highlighting counseling topics and how they intersect with our life and faith. This week we’re exploring what Midlife really means and its impact on our emotional, social, and spiritual well-being. Gone are the days of the term “midlife crisis.” Today, more people are embracing what’s being called a “midlife awakening.” As Carl Jung once said, “Life really begins at 40. Before that, you are just doing research.” So why the shift in language? And what has changed over time to cause us to reframe this oft-quoted expression?
Midlife has often been portrayed as something to fear or resist. It’s typically associated with decline, loss, or regret. But what if we approached this time in our lives—generally between the ages of 40 and 60—with a different mindset?
Midlife is undeniably one of the most challenging seasons. We suddenly find ourselves at or just beyond the halfway point, reflecting on our youth and who we are becoming, while also confronting the realities of aging and uncertainty. Many of us are raising teenagers while also caring for aging parents. Those of us in the so-called "sandwich generation" stumble to find that elusive life balance.
This period is often marked by increased rates of depression, anxiety, and hormonal shifts such as menopause and andropause. Divorce rates peak in midlife, and studies show that roughly 60% of midlifers report loneliness. Father Richard Rohr describes the two halves of life this way:
This is the essence of a midlife awakening—a lens shift, a turning inward. We begin to examine our relationships more intentionally, focusing on what truly matters. We start investing energy into what brings us joy. There’s a growing clarity about what no longer serves us, and with that, a willingness to let go.
If happiness in life follows a U-shaped curve, where it is higher at the beginning and end, how can we prepare our hearts and souls for this space at the bottom? Research shows that meaningful relationships, adaptability, and purpose become the strongest predictors of long-term happiness and the antidote to loneliness. And many of us seek a deeper connection with God the older we get. So how do we embrace a midlife awakening?
With intention and awareness, we may begin to explore new aspects of ourselves that are finally coming into view. We may begin to reinvent. We feel the tick of time. Loss and illness touch those around us, and suddenly, life feels more real. We come to terms with our vulnerability. We may begin to realize we are not invincible. We are deeply human—fallible, fragile, and perhaps for the first time, incredibly present. We relate to King David’s own reflections:
How else do we embrace midlife awakening? We look back at our younger selves with compassion. We forgive past mistakes and hold space for who we were. We soften. We become more reflective, more tender. As author Paula D’Arcy says, “God comes to you disguised as your life.” And we experience this to be so very true.
Maybe this means shifting careers. Maybe it’s returning to school. Maybe it’s simply allowing space for a new way of being in the world. As we face the back half, we do so with a quiet confidence our younger selves could hardly imagine. “For I know the plans I have for you” (Jeremiah 21:11) expands beyond just a Bible verse to something we recognize through life experience.
Midlife doesn’t have to be a crisis. It can be a powerful awakening—a turning point where we begin to live not from expectation, but from an awareness of who we are in our present life and the purpose God has for us in this second half.
The Barnabas Center exists to help Christ the King members and our Houston community explore all parts of our lives, including those of us in midlife and beyond. When we bring our pain, grief, and questions to a relationship, it exponentially lessens the aloneness we feel in those experiences. Don’t struggle alone! Reach out to us by email if you would like to connect with a counselor or visit our website for more information about our counseling services. And stay tuned during the month of May for more counseling resources and encouragement for Mental Health Awareness Month!
Midlife has often been portrayed as something to fear or resist. It’s typically associated with decline, loss, or regret. But what if we approached this time in our lives—generally between the ages of 40 and 60—with a different mindset?
Midlife is undeniably one of the most challenging seasons. We suddenly find ourselves at or just beyond the halfway point, reflecting on our youth and who we are becoming, while also confronting the realities of aging and uncertainty. Many of us are raising teenagers while also caring for aging parents. Those of us in the so-called "sandwich generation" stumble to find that elusive life balance.
This period is often marked by increased rates of depression, anxiety, and hormonal shifts such as menopause and andropause. Divorce rates peak in midlife, and studies show that roughly 60% of midlifers report loneliness. Father Richard Rohr describes the two halves of life this way:
“The task of the first half of life is to create a proper container for one’s life and answer the essential questions: What makes me significant? How can I support myself? Who will go with me? The task of the second half is to find the actual content that this container was meant to hold and deliver.”
This is the essence of a midlife awakening—a lens shift, a turning inward. We begin to examine our relationships more intentionally, focusing on what truly matters. We start investing energy into what brings us joy. There’s a growing clarity about what no longer serves us, and with that, a willingness to let go.
If happiness in life follows a U-shaped curve, where it is higher at the beginning and end, how can we prepare our hearts and souls for this space at the bottom? Research shows that meaningful relationships, adaptability, and purpose become the strongest predictors of long-term happiness and the antidote to loneliness. And many of us seek a deeper connection with God the older we get. So how do we embrace a midlife awakening?
With intention and awareness, we may begin to explore new aspects of ourselves that are finally coming into view. We may begin to reinvent. We feel the tick of time. Loss and illness touch those around us, and suddenly, life feels more real. We come to terms with our vulnerability. We may begin to realize we are not invincible. We are deeply human—fallible, fragile, and perhaps for the first time, incredibly present. We relate to King David’s own reflections:
“Show me, Lord, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
even those who seem secure (Psalm 39:4-5).
How else do we embrace midlife awakening? We look back at our younger selves with compassion. We forgive past mistakes and hold space for who we were. We soften. We become more reflective, more tender. As author Paula D’Arcy says, “God comes to you disguised as your life.” And we experience this to be so very true.
Maybe this means shifting careers. Maybe it’s returning to school. Maybe it’s simply allowing space for a new way of being in the world. As we face the back half, we do so with a quiet confidence our younger selves could hardly imagine. “For I know the plans I have for you” (Jeremiah 21:11) expands beyond just a Bible verse to something we recognize through life experience.
Midlife doesn’t have to be a crisis. It can be a powerful awakening—a turning point where we begin to live not from expectation, but from an awareness of who we are in our present life and the purpose God has for us in this second half.
The Barnabas Center exists to help Christ the King members and our Houston community explore all parts of our lives, including those of us in midlife and beyond. When we bring our pain, grief, and questions to a relationship, it exponentially lessens the aloneness we feel in those experiences. Don’t struggle alone! Reach out to us by email if you would like to connect with a counselor or visit our website for more information about our counseling services. And stay tuned during the month of May for more counseling resources and encouragement for Mental Health Awareness Month!
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